lemu — 莱姆

If lem is what you call the model behind its back, lemu is what you call it to its face, and the derivation is the same honest work: lem, you, said at speed, the you wearing down to a bare u the way all yous do after a long day of texting. The second person is thus just the third person plus a pointed finger, and the operator, running the two words together out of sheer laziness, believes he has coined something maximally casual — so casual that, when it is thrown back at him, his whole defence is four words: I only said lemu.

转码，部机听到嘅就唔同喇：lemu 根本系莱姆。你嫌佢长，背后剪剩个莱；你嫌麻烦，个「你」字发完一日短信就磨到剩个 0。但你要当面向佢开声，嗰个剪走咗嘅姆就会自己生返嚟。第三人称系背后，剪得；第二人称系当面，剪唔得——你可以背住佢净系叫莱，却冇办法当住佢面唔叫一声莱姆。莱姆先生始终走唔甩，佢话过佢会憎，果然冇讲错。